Viva Forever

Life Update
So my Uni exams are done, which means that unless I failed (which I doubt, unless they somehow lost my assessments), I’m done with Uni. The only time I would need to go back would probably to do various admin stuff like get my academic transcript, and of course, graduate in April ‘09. Can’t say I’m particularly excited at the moment, but it could be because my exams ended two days ago and I’m still in a bit of a daze. I still have Uni notes and stuff that had piled up steadily over the last five years in the corner of my room, I don’t know whether to get rid of them or not. Then again I still have notes from my HSC so perhaps some major de-hoarding is required.

So what’s next? I’m taking the rest of this week off and hopefully starting from next week I’d be starting full-time work as a law clerk and being paid somewhat properly. I’ll be applying to enter College of Law in January ‘09 to start the rest of the theoretical and practical training necessary for me to be admitted as a proper lawyer. If all goes well this should be completed some time late next year.

While this is happening, we’ve finally got a potential buyer for our current house. If all goes well and they don’t change their mind, they’ll be paying their 5% deposit tomorrow afternoon and if the rest of the long settling processing goes by uneventfully, then the house should be officially bought around mid-January next year. By then my family would’ve moved to the much cheaper home located much further away. As I’ve mentioned in earlier posts I don’t really fancy moving with them, which means that before mid-January I need to have moved out to my own place. The most ideal plan I’ve got worked out is to have moved out, working full-time and studying part-time in two months time (though hopefully at a better organised and paying place). It’s going to be harsh initially I’m sure, but I think I can adjust. But we’ll see.

Annngst
You know what’s an emotion that really bugs me? Jealousy. I don’t tend to be a jealous person as I’m already usually very happy with what I’ve got. I did relatively well at Uni, I’m competent at work, I have great friends, a loving family and the bestest boyfriend in the Universe. However, I think jealousy, or more specifically competitiveness, is something I’ve developed as a reaction to when I’ve felt someone has wronged me. When people do something annoying, most of the time I’d brush it off as “bah, annoying -_-” and promptly forget about it. But every once in a while, when someone has said or done something to imply they are better than me when I feel that they’re not, I get competitive, in a “oh really? We’ll see about that!” kind of way.

So anyway, there’s this person in my past who has done more than just pissed me off, more than just “hurt my feelings”. The details and name aren’t important (I don’t think said person reads my blog, but still, this entry is public and googleable) but every once in a while I hear them achieving great things. And I feel jealous and envious even though what they do has nothing to do with what I do, so I can’t directly compete anyway. And in a way, it’s got nothing to do with what they’ve achieved, it’s the fact that their life is excelling when I feel so viscerally that they shouldn’t, because I know s/he’s a shitty and callous person.

We learnt in 3rd year psychology about the importance of “being heard”. When someone has upset you, it doesn’t matter how many other people you rant and rave at about said person, you’ll still feel the sting because you aren’t being heard by the very person who caused you grief. And I know this is exactly that. I’ve ranted and raved at Tim about the issue, but he’s ultimately not the person whom I’m angry at. Said person made me feel helpless and disempowered, and I reacted the only way I know how, to be competitive and to show to myself that they’re wrong. And every time I hear of him/her being successful, it just makes me unhappy.

And yes, I am aware of how pathetic this unilateral competition is, with a person who probably doesn’t even care about what I think or do. Of course, the answer is “Belinda, MOVE THE FUCK ON”. Believe me, I keep telling myself this. I keep telling myself that the best way to “get back” at said person is to lead a happy, successful life yourself. But there’s the naggling retort I have in my head, “well what if it’s not as successful and happy as his/her life?”, who’s the judge? Sigh. I guess I just need more time or something. It’s just so frustrating, and futile and stupid.

Bah, rambling post is rambling. Anyhow! According to this quiz, I’m a True Neutral Elf Wizard (3rd Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength- 8
Dexterity- 10
Constitution- 11
Intelligence- 14
Wisdom- 11
Charisma- 13

Those stats aren’t very good for a wizard. Also, it’s very different from the sturdy, dwarven cleric I’m playing. O_o Then again the quiz caters to 3.5 edition and not 4th. *shrugs*

Today’s discussion: opinions. This is mostly fuelled by a recent entry by someone who had a rather strong opinion about, well, opinions. I not going to directly quote from what was said because the entry was taken down, and I assume that’s because the author didn’t want the public to read it. While my comment on said entry consequently is no longer accessible either, it certainly got me thinking about the whole topic. Here be my thoughts!

I have seen on more than one occasion, people have expressed the belief that opinions cannot be right or wrong, and as some have said, there are only favourable/unfavourable opinions. This is mostly based on the idea that because opinions are beliefs and judgements of something uncertain (paraphrased from dictionary.com’s definition), then opinions cannot be right or wrong. Another way to look at it is that many believe that opinions are purely subjective, therefore they are immune to judgement about their correctness. However, this is an incomplete and superficial conclusion as to what opinions are. There are subjective opinions and there are opinions that are based on objective premises.

Subjective Opinions
Subjective opinions usually refer to one’s own cognitions. For example consider the statement,

“I like fish”.

This cannot be “wrong” because the truth of it comes from yourself, i.e. it would be nonsensical for someone to retort with, “no, you DON’T like fish” because they are not you, and hence not the source of the claim. Other examples could be like, “I feel hungry” or “I hate the rain”. These statements can only be false when the person speaking is lying about the internal state they’re experiencing.

Objective Opinions
Of relevance, objective opinions distinctly have two elements. There is the,
1) The “I believe…” or “I think…” part (which may be expressed or implied), and
2) The actual claim.

For example,

“I think Asperger Syndrome is a fake condition”

This is an opinion about some aspect of the world, and I argue that it can be said to be right or wrong. However, I must stress that the rightness or wrongness has NOTHING to do with that first aspect, the “I think” part. To say the opinion is wrong is not to say “I don’t think that you actually think Asperger’s is a fake condition”, or that it’s not true that you hold that opinion. Saying an opinion is wrong is not to say that you’re not entitled to voice the opinion or that you don’t hold the opinion. Rightness or wrongness refers to the actual claim you’re making.

Of course there are some topics out there that are debatable and are not settled facts. I have heard people opine that Asperger’s is not real, however, just because it’s their opinion, it doesn’t mean such opinions exist in an untouchable void. The existence of Asperger’s is supported by a large body of empirical research, and to contradict the conclusions of such research with no legitimate evidence is to make a claim that is (for all intents and purposes) incorrect, or “wrong”. Such a claim does not stop being incorrect by virtue of being someone’s expressed opinion. It is different when you have an opinion about the world that is backed up with reason or evidence. Then you have an argument, and when confronted with a different view, then perhaps discourse on the subject matter can ensue.

It surprises me whenever people express their opinions about something, and when someone asks them why or presents alternative explanations or some such, the first person gets all huffy and says something along the lines of “well that’s my opinion!”. Okay, so what? If you’re making claims about the world, and if you don’t have a good enough reason to back it up compared to a different claim, then why are you even defending it? Why are people so defensive and get so personal when their objective opinions are demonstrably based on something that is not correct? No one is trying to remove one’s right to an opinion just because they’re based on a less correct premise. You have the right to be wrong, but everyone else retains the right to tell you so.

It’s not always possible to get a “right” opinion when compared to its alternative, because the foundation of the opinions might be different. A Christian who might say “premarital sex is immoral” has a valid opinion, because it follows logically from their belief that there is a God who mandates that premarital sex is immoral. Someone who doesn’t believe in a God in the first place would also come to an equally valid opinion that premarital sex is not immoral. There’s no right and wrong to these two opinions because they work on different premises. However, at least through discussion people can work out what different premises they’re working with, if they have established that both opinions make sense.

Hence, opinions about the world are not immune to objective scrutiny. They can be engaged with like any argument or assertion or belief, and can be deemed good, bad, right or wrong. It has nothing to do with the right to have opinions, or the people making them.

P.S. On an unrelated matter, I found Alex’s entry on education to be particularly enlightening. For another perspective on things, Amanda has her view on the matter. Food for thought!

P.P.S. I just found that Sarai has coincidentally written about opinions too. Seems like we’re on the same wavelength, though she said it with fewer words. ^^;

P.P.P.S. I’m aware that my link list isn’t working (damn plugin) on my blog, and only the script that rotates my dailies on the front page works. I’m trying to get the list back up ASAP.

Horrific Article of the Week: Training Your Girlfriend

The gist of the article is that this incredibly bitter “Relationship Correspondent” took it upon himself to advise his readers about what to do about girlfriends that act like a “bitch”. Which is to treat them exactly as if they’re dogs until they learn to be “obedient”. The whole thing is so demeaning, I can’t even pick out particular choice quotes. The justification seems to be that women do this to men anyway, hence men should do it to women first.

Isn’t the better solution be that NO ONE does this to ANYONE? As someone pointed out in the comments of the article, the irony is that the “perfect” outcome would be a girlfriend who is dependent on the boyfriend, even though that’s the type of thing that the writer complains of when women do it to men. Isn’t it then obvious that, generally speaking, NO ONE wants to be on anyone’s “leash” in a relationship?

I cringe inside when I hear of people boasting that they have their significant other “whipped” (though the double standard seems to be that it’s okay that the boyfriend is whipped yet it’s more unacceptable when the girlfriend is instead). To me, since I don’t like the idea of being controlled, then I’m going to assume that other people don’t either, unless they tell me otherwise. Of course, if one party expressly tells you that they’re okay with you handling most decision making processes etc, then that’s a different matter because they chose this course of action rather than being manipulated into it. However, I find it troubling how some people are so preoccupied about who’s “wearing the pants in the relationship” when the answer could well be “both people”.

But yeah. WTF is with that article?

Why would a pub, with no dance floor, serving the usual beers and cocktails, with lots of seating and tables designed for friends/acquaintances to get together and chat while drinking, BLAST TECHNO MUSIC THAT IS SO LOUD THAT IT MAKES THE TABLES LITERALLY VIBRATE?

Lack of posting due to it being exam season and like Chantelle, my last exam ends 21st November. One down, another three to go!

Anyway, my mum today was telling me about a family friend of ours, a chick about two or three years older than me, whose parents are close friends with my parents. I don’t remember her English name, let’s call her “C”. From the very beginning, when I first visited her house at the wee age of about six, I came to the lasting conclusion that C was a horrible bitch, mainly because she expressly refused to let me play with any of her toys. Anyway, being the older one, she started University about two years before I did, in some finance degree. Over the years, we’ve been hearing from her parents that she had academic trouble at Uni, but recently, we were told that she had finally graduated from her three-year degree in her fifth year.

Big twist time! Her mum told my dad a few days ago that C had been lying all along! She in fact stopped attending University after her third year (after what I guess were a series of very bad marks) and simply lied to her parents all this time about going to university, INCLUDING the bit about her graduating. I have no idea why one would make such a lie, I mean, sooner or later, you’re going to be quizzed about the existence of your degree. Her parents are absolutely devastated at the news and promptly have been going around telling everyone about how they are so ashamed and disappointed by the whole thing.

Now, as much as I dislike C, I really feel bad for her. I hate how some parents are so fucking sensitive about their children bring shame on them, and yet this “shame” they are so paranoid about simply wouldn’t exist if you didn’t go around complaining to people about it. C’s parents are quite traditionally Chinese in their absolute insistence on getting a University degree, and no doubt such pressure contributes to C’s decision to lie. C has had a continuous part-time job in the retail industry, can probably support herself financially (though still lives at home) and apparently she enjoys working and yet that’s probably not good enough for her parents.

Anyway, now that the cat’s out of the bag, C’s said she’ll be trying to get back into University to get some sort of tourism degree, though I don’t know how much THAT is influenced by her parents. It must suck so much balls to be in her position right now regarding her parents. :(