Life Update
So my Uni exams are done, which means that unless I failed (which I doubt, unless they somehow lost my assessments), I’m done with Uni. The only time I would need to go back would probably to do various admin stuff like get my academic transcript, and of course, graduate in April ‘09. Can’t say I’m particularly excited at the moment, but it could be because my exams ended two days ago and I’m still in a bit of a daze. I still have Uni notes and stuff that had piled up steadily over the last five years in the corner of my room, I don’t know whether to get rid of them or not. Then again I still have notes from my HSC so perhaps some major de-hoarding is required.

So what’s next? I’m taking the rest of this week off and hopefully starting from next week I’d be starting full-time work as a law clerk and being paid somewhat properly. I’ll be applying to enter College of Law in January ‘09 to start the rest of the theoretical and practical training necessary for me to be admitted as a proper lawyer. If all goes well this should be completed some time late next year.

While this is happening, we’ve finally got a potential buyer for our current house. If all goes well and they don’t change their mind, they’ll be paying their 5% deposit tomorrow afternoon and if the rest of the long settling processing goes by uneventfully, then the house should be officially bought around mid-January next year. By then my family would’ve moved to the much cheaper home located much further away. As I’ve mentioned in earlier posts I don’t really fancy moving with them, which means that before mid-January I need to have moved out to my own place. The most ideal plan I’ve got worked out is to have moved out, working full-time and studying part-time in two months time (though hopefully at a better organised and paying place). It’s going to be harsh initially I’m sure, but I think I can adjust. But we’ll see.

Annngst
You know what’s an emotion that really bugs me? Jealousy. I don’t tend to be a jealous person as I’m already usually very happy with what I’ve got. I did relatively well at Uni, I’m competent at work, I have great friends, a loving family and the bestest boyfriend in the Universe. However, I think jealousy, or more specifically competitiveness, is something I’ve developed as a reaction to when I’ve felt someone has wronged me. When people do something annoying, most of the time I’d brush it off as “bah, annoying -_-” and promptly forget about it. But every once in a while, when someone has said or done something to imply they are better than me when I feel that they’re not, I get competitive, in a “oh really? We’ll see about that!” kind of way.

So anyway, there’s this person in my past who has done more than just pissed me off, more than just “hurt my feelings”. The details and name aren’t important (I don’t think said person reads my blog, but still, this entry is public and googleable) but every once in a while I hear them achieving great things. And I feel jealous and envious even though what they do has nothing to do with what I do, so I can’t directly compete anyway. And in a way, it’s got nothing to do with what they’ve achieved, it’s the fact that their life is excelling when I feel so viscerally that they shouldn’t, because I know s/he’s a shitty and callous person.

We learnt in 3rd year psychology about the importance of “being heard”. When someone has upset you, it doesn’t matter how many other people you rant and rave at about said person, you’ll still feel the sting because you aren’t being heard by the very person who caused you grief. And I know this is exactly that. I’ve ranted and raved at Tim about the issue, but he’s ultimately not the person whom I’m angry at. Said person made me feel helpless and disempowered, and I reacted the only way I know how, to be competitive and to show to myself that they’re wrong. And every time I hear of him/her being successful, it just makes me unhappy.

And yes, I am aware of how pathetic this unilateral competition is, with a person who probably doesn’t even care about what I think or do. Of course, the answer is “Belinda, MOVE THE FUCK ON”. Believe me, I keep telling myself this. I keep telling myself that the best way to “get back” at said person is to lead a happy, successful life yourself. But there’s the naggling retort I have in my head, “well what if it’s not as successful and happy as his/her life?”, who’s the judge? Sigh. I guess I just need more time or something. It’s just so frustrating, and futile and stupid.

Bah, rambling post is rambling. Anyhow! According to this quiz, I’m a True Neutral Elf Wizard (3rd Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength- 8
Dexterity- 10
Constitution- 11
Intelligence- 14
Wisdom- 11
Charisma- 13

Those stats aren’t very good for a wizard. Also, it’s very different from the sturdy, dwarven cleric I’m playing. O_o Then again the quiz caters to 3.5 edition and not 4th. *shrugs*