Power Dynamics
Life, Rants December 19th, 2007Horrific Article of the Week: Training Your Girlfriend
The gist of the article is that this incredibly bitter “Relationship Correspondent” took it upon himself to advise his readers about what to do about girlfriends that act like a “bitch”. Which is to treat them exactly as if they’re dogs until they learn to be “obedient”. The whole thing is so demeaning, I can’t even pick out particular choice quotes. The justification seems to be that women do this to men anyway, hence men should do it to women first.
Isn’t the better solution be that NO ONE does this to ANYONE? As someone pointed out in the comments of the article, the irony is that the “perfect” outcome would be a girlfriend who is dependent on the boyfriend, even though that’s the type of thing that the writer complains of when women do it to men. Isn’t it then obvious that, generally speaking, NO ONE wants to be on anyone’s “leash” in a relationship?
I cringe inside when I hear of people boasting that they have their significant other “whipped” (though the double standard seems to be that it’s okay that the boyfriend is whipped yet it’s more unacceptable when the girlfriend is instead). To me, since I don’t like the idea of being controlled, then I’m going to assume that other people don’t either, unless they tell me otherwise. Of course, if one party expressly tells you that they’re okay with you handling most decision making processes etc, then that’s a different matter because they chose this course of action rather than being manipulated into it. However, I find it troubling how some people are so preoccupied about who’s “wearing the pants in the relationship” when the answer could well be “both people”.
But yeah. WTF is with that article?
14 Responses to “Power Dynamics”
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Yeah, I like to wear pants. And I hope any guy I am in a relationship likes to wear pants, too :P
But seriously, that article was horrific. Why is crap like that even written anymore?
You know, after years of being inflamed by chauvinistic, insensitive bull-crap like that, I’ve come to realize that you’ve just got to let some things go. People are idiots, and that applies to both genders. On either side, you’ll find a great number of individuals who want to control their partners through manipulation or brute force. Really, you just have to live the way you think is right, maybe try to talk to friends on a personal level if they’re acting inappropriately, and do what you can to ensure the next generation doesn’t end up quite as fucked — or even moreso.
I’ve read a lot of things like that today. Too much in one day is not good for you. Honestly I think it’s supposed to be joking… because I cannot believe that someone could think that. That kind of manipulation. I want to believe people are better than that.
It must be a joke, right? I know there are people out there who do believe such things but I’ve never really encountered them before. I like the person who left this comment though:
“I’d like to note that, ironically, all of the men that have left comments extolling the superiority of the male intellect are misspelling a lot of words and using spectacularly poor grammar.”
I think that whilst reading many of those articles where one group tries to take the high ground.
Wow, that’s too horribly ridiculous to be taken seriously (or so I’d hope); but even if the author was aiming for “humour”, it just came out bitter, stereotypical and insulting. I never got why who “wears the pants” in a relationship was such an important issue (nothing wrong with skirts :P). Whatever happened to relationships being based on mutual respect and enjoyment of each other’s company rather than passive-aggressive attempts at domination and control?
Way to paint all women with the same brush too, as if all females are caricatures who only care about cars, shiny trickets and talking about shoes. (wtf?) What sort of people does he hang out with, anyway? Obviously if you only look within such a shallow circle, all you’re going to get is shallowness. There are plenty of women with diverse interests, though I doubt anyone with half a brain would want a relationship with someone with his attitude.
Hard to believe such article is even allowed to exist.
As for people who *like* to be “whipped”… well, I hope masochist is not an option o_o *shudders at the thought*
At first I was prepared to dismiss this as somewhat eye-roll worthy and ultimately dismissable, but that was honestly really horrible and disgusting. There’s poor taste and then there’s rampant misognism.
Oy.
All the references to sex made me cringe. My girlfriend, the bitch in heat. Yuck. e_e.
I’ll grant that some women (and some guys) can be a right pain in the ass, but wouldn’t it be a lot easier just to not date those people? What’s even fueling a relationship with someone like that?
Sounds like someone is never going to marry now, and if he does, I feel bad for his woman. I agree with you. Relationships are about equality. That’s what makes them work.
Oh how I’m not going to draw any parallels based on my own relationship with Marius.
Okey, I will.
For the sake of my own sanity, and high blood pressure, I’m not going to read the article. It’s not going to do Marius any good either as my “firm” personality is not exactly to be “tamed”. Neither is it necessary.
However, I am going to mention that most of the time *I* am “the boss” in our relationship, and if I hadn’t been, not only would we not be together any more, but he would have been completely and utterly flat broke unable to take care of himself. His words actually, not mine.
The strongest character will become “the boss”. Someone will always be the leader in some way. However, in our relationship, we “take turns” depending on the necessity and situation we find ourselves in. And as long as the people involved are happy with that solution, then good.
Feeling the need to “train your girlfriend like a dog” because you are not content with your mate, proves not that she is in need of training, but that you chose the wrong mate for you. We all have different needs and desires, no need to remove someone’s free will against their wishes by using manipulation just because someone isn’t happy about their relationship.
As Marius would say; “Men truly are stupid.”
You know, I was going to suggest that this person should just get a dog. Then I realized, how on earth is he going to treat a dog if he thinks of women as dogs?
Why do they even let people post shite like this on websites anyway? @_@
Ick. How horribly disgusting. How can such a relationship exist if there is no compromise? I would seriously love to kick whoever wrote that article in the balls.
Wait… but I thought women nowadays love jerks?
That’s a horrible generalisation. o_o
That is a really funny article. I hate how some males think they should still dominate the society. But there are girls who like being treated that way actually–especially if the man’s rich.