Online v Offline
Gaming, Musings April 26th, 2006This thread (and included links) really got me thinking about whether online, platonic relationships can be considered on par with offline relationships. No need to report what happened, the link gives a quick summary of what happened.
It seems to me that the opinions are divided into: “It’s just a game” v “That was as bad as desecrating a funeral”. I don’t play many MMORGs myself (certainly not WoW, can’t afford money or time!) but I cannot agree with the dismissive notion that it was “just a game”. If it’s a person v a computer, then yes it’s just a game. But MMORGs involve constant interaction with other characters. You’re not interacting with pixels alone, you’re interacting with people represented by their pixels. And IMO, that is a valid basis to form an attachment to.
And yet… I’m a little unwilling to say that online interactions are the same as offline. I’m not saying that people IRL don’t lie and pretend, but it’s simply easier to do so via text. People are usually pretty good at telling body language and expression and those things are more difficult to fake. And yet, maybe it’s this vulnerability in upfront real life interactions that causes some people to need to have a mask over their true personality whereas people online might not feel so threatened.
Nevertheless I agree that the people who ruined that online memorial were assholes. Sure there was no physical damage but still… it’s a pretty inane and stupid thing to do. It doesn’t reflect so much on the people who were adversely affected but moreso on the perpetrators who partook in such a senseless activity.
11 Responses to “Online v Offline”
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Agreed – you can’t really compare offline and online relationships on equal footing, but on the other hand, online relationships can still have a lot of significance.
It’s true – there’s a person behind every computer. And honestly, it’s frustrating when people forget that and start treating others online as if they weren’t really people. Shame.
Your site is gorgeous!!
Anyway, I think online relationships can compare with offline ones but after certain stages face to face interactions can further establish the relationships…
So true. I’ve met up with a couple of people from the internet, and some turned out to be not what they seem to be. It’s like meeting a totally different person. I know of some people who are extremely outgoing on the net, but in real life, they’re really shy. It’s easier to converse online when you don’t have the person looking at you, trying to read your expression.
There is little to no physical interaction over the internet, so it’s easier to mask yourself online or like someone said before, speak your mind when IRL you’re very shy.
In that case, I think it’s better to take online relationships with a grain of salt. Sure, there are some genuine friendships online, but you can’t really see the person behind the computer, so you can never tell.
It’s hard to place online and offline relationships on equal footing. The experience is just not the same. You can’t really laugh or cry with your online friends beyond “LOL” and “:((“.
Bel Indeed. A real hug is never the same as *hug*.
Not even gonna go into whether online and offline relationships should be universally put on equal footing or otherwise, but one thing I reckon is certain… if there is a huge difference between one’s offline and online personalities, then that person must be a coward in some way. Moreso a coward if they take advantage of the intangible nature of the web and retract their statements or delete their virtual footprints as if to change history, to carry on as though what happened never really… happened.
It might not be a big deal. A person might not be a confident person due to her supposed unattractiveness, and the ‘net can mask this and make her feel more confident (insert inner-beauty crappity). Or it might be much more sinister, like someone we can both name. She likes to gain the trust and access privileges off unsuspecting webmasters, only to delete their sites and treasured communities with a click of a mouse under the guise of “friendship and collaboration.” Something you will be shot for, if your offline identity was known.
Bel: Mmm very true. Though I like to add that there is a difference between a false online identity compared to the real offline one. Some people (well, me) say things, and talk about certain topics while neglecting others. We can’t spend all day talking about everything online, and so I think even honest people are only able to present one aspect of themselves that they’ve gotten into a habit of presenting to the online audience. That in itself may mislead people.
Just to answer the first question: right now it seems easier for me to put everything into a single, comprehensive site, unless of course the content is something that’s standalone (e.g. a character shrine haha). In any case, a rehaul of iNET is surely something to look forward to. Will look forward to it. (Sidenote: Michael Buble’s voice is sooooo sexy XD;)
And now to comment on this post. Unfortunately, I couldn’t open the link but I’m guessing that this is the WoW memorial. I play pRO and I belong to a guild, AND sadly a guildmate of ours got killed (may justice be served) March last year. It was a really shocking event for us, and while some of us were able to go to the candle-lighting event, others had work/school/lived too far to be there in person, so we held an online memorial for him. Of course, we did it in a town (no PK), and it was generally peaceful if not for the occasional beggars here and there. There were GM’s and people from other guilds who gave their respects. Some of us knew him personally, some like me only met him twice, and some haven’t met him at all. But all of us grieved like hell. I’m sure that if something like the WoW event happened to us, we’d be really insulted. You know what, months later some random avatar came up to one of our guildmates and said that Mervs is probably burning in hell already. Like wow, bastard. >_>
Anyway, “online relationships” is a whole world of its own, I think. I’ve been witness to a number of couples who met online and eventually got together offline, and I’ve personally made good friends out of playing/drawing/blogging. At times it’s just easy to “cross over to reality”–pick up where you left off, you would say–but at times you wonder why the person seems so different in real life, or why it’s so difficult to carry on a conversation because this person seems like a complete stranger. You’re right–some people feel less inhibited online, especially when his/her existence on the internet is complete cut off from the RL one. And yes, sadly, an internet “persona” can be used for malicious purposes, as Fiona says, but on the other hand you can also explore different aspects of your personality online (Guess that explains the appeal to confused adolescents). Anyway, I think it’s just fine to begin friendships online, but I emphasize on begin, because no emoticon or internet slang can replace the presence and the body language of another living person. The internet is just one context where human interaction is possible, but it’s much too limited compared to what you can do in the real world. (And that’s why we hear stories of people flying halfway across the world just to meet their internet chatmate.)
Excuse the length/drama/general incoherence of this post, Belinda. @o@
Bel: Hooray for lengthy comments!
Ah I downloaded RO but never actually got around to starting it… I didn’t know people who played it anymore. :P But I totally agree with what you say, that’s also why I believe that online “romances” never last until people met face to face. I suppose it’s very difficult to escape the need for physical prescence to make a relationship, whether platonic or no, progress to a more deeper level.
That happened in Feb I think.
I was pretty repulsed by what happened as well- even if it was an online funeral, it was still a nice gesture to someone who loved the game. It was horrible to see how far some people can take guild wars and how immature some people can be :(
I have to agree with you about people sounding different online as well :s Text can be interpreted in so many different ways and there’ve been loads of times people have taken what I said the wrong way or thought something I said was a joke when it wasn’t :S
Wee, Fiona already covered a big part of what I tend to think about people who are vastly different on/offline ^^ Not to be biased or anything, but that’s one reason I prefer interacting with webmasters who have done a certain amount of writings for their sites because a site and its content – not necessarily its design because not everyone can be so artistic – really reflects its owner’s true nature in many ways, though whether they’re done intentionally or unconsciously is a completely different story. (i.e. There’s nothing I can say about those who plagiarize/copy, per se)
RPG is my favorite game genre of all time, but for some reason I’ve never bothered to play any MMORPGs with the exception of one FFXI trial-week, and the reason has a lot to do with the fact I want to avoid stupidity like those you’ve mentioned in your entry. To those who are hardcore WoW players, the world of warcraft must be just as real as their own living community, so it should be no excuse for anyone to attack their unique sense of value in there. Yet why would one enter such a place of no physical damage but plenty of mental ones, knowing that there are bound to be individuals who treat everyone’s dedication and seriousness like a joke?
On the other hand, I’m the type who’d rather keep on/offline activities in different camps. It’s not that I think online relationships are inconsiderable: I treat online friends exactly the same way as offline friends, not to mention that there are those who I know both on/offline as webmasters and school friends. But I do prefer keeping different things in different baskets anywhere I go, just because our world has too many dimensional complexes nowadays that it’d be quite a mess if I don’t start cleaning now and get my priorities straight.
(I spam your comment boxes way-y too much, xD)
Bel: Mmm I too separate my online life from offline to a pretty big deal (I’m more or less a private person, mainly because I don’t see why others would want to know about my life) but sometimes the line blurs of what to say to whom. Sometimes you just want an audience, regardless of whether they respond or not, regardless of whether you know them or not, to vent about sometimes.
your blog is cute.
RE your reply. I would say that’s how it is IRL too. There’s only so much time online, there’s also only so much time offline. Unless you live together and see the honest person behave in every single situation imaginable, you won’t ever know all the truths.
You yourself spend quite a hefty amount of time online :P
I’ve never met anyone on the Internet offline, so I can’t speak for any online-offline discrepancies; however, the offline friends I converse with ONLINE may not be there physically, but I can sense physical tension just as I would offline. I also think AIM and other chat communication has ironically bettered my relationships with people offline..