Viva Forever

If Chopin was alive I’d kick him in the nuts.

… No I lie, I probably won’t. The source of my rage however, is probably very understandable to you all. See, have I assessments due tomorrow and Tuesday. Being the studious person (ha!) I had started and FINISHED the report meant for tomorrow three days early so I have time to work on the one due on the day after.

As much as it killed me to finish an assessment days early it was done (yesterday). However. I found out the one I finished is actually due for Tuesday and the one I had not started is actually due tomorrow.

Screwed!

So anyway, why my sudden intense disliking for Chopin? Because it’s the only study music I can have on that won’t distract me. I’ve been listening to his piano pieces on a loop for the past few days and it’s driving me nuts, but without it, nothing will be accomplished (though arguably, the very fact that I’m here venting out my stress isn’t helping the matter).

Things to do after the goddamn assignments are over:
- Write up beading tutorial
- Try my hands at making the awesomely cute felt cakes that Helena had made, hopefully in time for Mother’s Day
- Maybe continue Maple Story… I had stopped playing months ago cos it was sucky with the lack of things to do. I recently saw it had added way more quests and things, might give it another go. There’s something therapuetic about zapping wild boars with magic
- Add to this place (new layout maybe?)

I resigned up for Gaiaonline! Me! If you have an account, feel free to add. Dear God, I’m so sad. I blame this random act of re-registering at this overpopulated community purely due to stress. There’s something oddly motivating about doing things like zapping wild boars and posting inane topics in boring forums for fake money to buy accessories and clothing for one’s pixellated character. Maybe I’m just superficial… at least I don’t usually spend real money on real clothing though! :D

Back to work!

This thread (and included links) really got me thinking about whether online, platonic relationships can be considered on par with offline relationships. No need to report what happened, the link gives a quick summary of what happened.

It seems to me that the opinions are divided into: “It’s just a game” v “That was as bad as desecrating a funeral”. I don’t play many MMORGs myself (certainly not WoW, can’t afford money or time!) but I cannot agree with the dismissive notion that it was “just a game”. If it’s a person v a computer, then yes it’s just a game. But MMORGs involve constant interaction with other characters. You’re not interacting with pixels alone, you’re interacting with people represented by their pixels. And IMO, that is a valid basis to form an attachment to.

And yet… I’m a little unwilling to say that online interactions are the same as offline. I’m not saying that people IRL don’t lie and pretend, but it’s simply easier to do so via text. People are usually pretty good at telling body language and expression and those things are more difficult to fake. And yet, maybe it’s this vulnerability in upfront real life interactions that causes some people to need to have a mask over their true personality whereas people online might not feel so threatened.

Nevertheless I agree that the people who ruined that online memorial were assholes. Sure there was no physical damage but still… it’s a pretty inane and stupid thing to do. It doesn’t reflect so much on the people who were adversely affected but moreso on the perpetrators who partook in such a senseless activity.

So I was typing up this pretty awesome lengthy post right? As I was re-reading through it, my computer kinda went *click click, screen goes black*

… o.o

*restarts itself*

YOU BASTARD! *shakes fist* So anyway a crummy condensed version of what my would-be entry question: for the site designers out there, why do you structure the way you do, and why? For the site surfers (everyone!) what structure do you prefer?

What I mean is this: do you prefer content to be split into specific sites catering to that type of content (e.g. a tutorial site, a photo site, a blog, a review site) tied together via a collective portal (like Janice’s collective), or would your rather have content all sectioned off in one site (like Rosmarie’s site)?

I’m thinking of POSSIBLY reshaping my domain… but I’m scared to touch iNET’s main layout, it’s been up for so long, who knows what might happen if I take it off, the world as we know might end. :P

P.S. Updated (finally)! :D

One of life’s most exhilirating moments: Finishing an assignment. WOOOOOOOT!

I FEEL GOOD, DUN NER NER NER NER NER NER! Man, I’ve been spending the past three days on a law essay. I’m happy that I’m trying hard at doing well at Uni this year, but still, the essay is still not QUITE as well as I liked it. Maybe because I’ve been spending too much time reading the materials and compiling an argument, but it just seems all over the place.

I DON’T CARE! :D

I have a great idea for a new blog layout! I’m thinking of tweaking this one and using it for an LJ layout instead.

Happy Easter!

Yesterday after our psychopathology exam, we had a guest speaker from the Schizophrenia Fellowship. She herself battled with decades of mental illness and talked about her psychosis, the frustrating mental health system and how she eventually got proper treatment.

It was an eye-opener hearing about her experiences battling schizophrenia. She had come from a well-to-do family and studying law at USyd. She started hearing messages from the radio informing her of this new “world order” set to overthrow the government. Everywhere she’d go, she’d see billboards, TV shows, newspaper ads, even bits of advertisement in the gutter as messages deliberately put there to tell only her of what’s going on. She became paranoid of her own family, and interpreted every gesture, every word spoken as some secret threat they are plotting against her.

It just got worse and she dropped out of Uni. It affected her life so drastically that a simple ride on the train would be heart-stopping terror to her as everyone she sees on the train is construed to be out to get her. The old man with the cane was imagined to have the cane in order to beat her to death when she’s not looking. When eventually she sought help, she was misdiagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and thrown out of the psych ward. She had psychotherapy which did nothing except make her feel even more paranoid and depressed. She attempted suicide many times.

Eventually, through the Catholic Church, she was able to get admission into a private psych hospital where she was properly diagnosed with schizophrenia and given proper medication. Thanks to her strong personality and her educated background, she went on to spread awareness through the media and now sits on the Schizophrenia Fellowship board.

Her schizophrenic symptoms might sound quite outlandish, but it was very real to her. Can you imagine how terrifying it would be, to be so convinced that you’re sensing something and knowing something when everyone else tells you you’re crazy? She’s not simply imagining the delusions and hallucinations, but it’s as concrete to you as say being able to see the trees outside and believing that 1+1=2. The worst part is KNOWING that something is horribly wrong… and yet don’t get the help that you want.

I believe that disease of the mind is much more traumatising than physical illness. You might fall down the stairs and sprain an ankle and while there are unpleasant physical symptoms, you and the rest of the world agree on what happened and how it should be dealt with. But when it’s all in your head, no one else can experience what you can. You’re fighting an uphill battle in convincing people that there IS something wrong, to have them believe you, and to have the appropriate treatment for it. People can empathise with bodily problems, but something as abstract as an ill mind… many people just don’t know how to react. It can be so terribly lonely for those with mental illnesses, which is why depression is such a common other disorder people with mental illnesses have.

P.S. Many might know this, many might not, but while schizophrenia means “split mind” it does NOT mean split personality. It’s more a split from reality. An example of split personality is well portrayed in Fight Club, whereas schizophrenia is more correctly shown in A Beautiful Mind.